Useless information

The trains in Germany are not as ruthlessly efficient as the German people would have you believe. Our train from Hanover to Hamburg was delayed by 30 minutes, even then it didn’t travel to its scheduled “final destination”.

Bicycles in Holland seem to have right of way over all other forms of traffic. Given the vast quantity of bikes that populate the City driving anywhere by car is very much a losing battle. Scooters are also allowed to travel on the pavements, something which would never be allowed to happen in the UK due to our health and safety laws. I’m not convinced by the idea but the Dutch seem to get on with it pretty well.

Rotterdam has two cash machines. Trying to find them is one of the “fun” things that the City has to offer.

Europeans seem to think that a 0.2cl bottle of Coca-Cola is a “normal” amount to drink. Any sane person could tell you that this is nowhere near enough. There is a reason they sell Coke in 2 litre bottles.

There are too many canals in Amsterdam and they all look the same. Anybody who tells you they need that many canals in a liar.

Europeans make great beer. The crappy lager we get back in England now tastes even more like horse piss. When I get home I’ll have to get all my alcohol imported from the continent.

In terms of beautiful looking people Belgium is totally punching above its weight. No country with a population that small has any right to have that many good looking people.

There are no chavs, fat people or teenage mothers on the continent. Either that or they have all been locked up in secure locations (just as it should be).

Antwerp could very well become the next destination for “Lads On Tour”. Great beer and beautiful women, what more could you ask for?

Announcements at major trains stations are given in English as well as the local language. If it wasn’t for this Chris and I would still be waiting for a connecting train in Hanover.

Beer and soft drinks in many countries are the same price, so you can’t afford not to get wasted.

There are no ticket barriers at train stations. Either people are really honest and buy tickets or the train network is running itself into the ground with crippling debts.

The Interrail pass is almost certainly a con. Everytime I have had my ticket checked the inspector looks at it like he/she has never seen one before. However, the ticket looks pretty official so nobody ever questions it.

Trains are clearly divided into first and second class. Not first class and standard like we have in England. However 2nd class on the continent is about the same standard as 1st class in England. Leg room is a universal right not something reserved for the rich and famous.

There is building work everywhere. Europe is a work in progress set to be completed sometime in the summer of 2014.

The high quantity of unreasonably attractive Swedish women has rendered the 1-10 hotness scale completely useless.

Sweden has the best internets.

Getting train reservations is strongly advised. Otherwise you’ll end up sitting on the floor.

The term “Central Station” is often used in an ironic sense.

Everyone in Europe speaks perfect English. Any attempt to learn the local language is completely pointless.

The Swedes claim to have the best tap water in the world. Although I doubt anyone has tried water from every country, so they have no way to prove this outrageous claim.

In Belgium it is illegal to urinate in a public place. Doing so carries a fine which varies from City to City.

Swedish Warship, The Vasa, should be a national embarrassment but has instead been turned into a museum. The ship, which was launched in 1628 sake after 45 minutes.

In the Czech Republic you can be fined for crossing the road at a red light. Although I am yet to see this law being enforced.

In Czech restaurants beer is cheaper than water (literally). The cheapest beer I had was equivalent to 96p

Warsaw, which was largely destroyed in World War II has been rebuilt almost entirely out of concrete.

It is highly possible that Hungary’s currency, the Forint, is a massive in joke. £1 is equal to 299 Forint.

The Serbian train network is best described as informal. The train from Belgrade to Sofia was 90 minutes late leaving. I’d genuinely be interested to know how this happened.

Belgrade has been involved in 115 wars and destroyed 44 times. Those guys just don’t give up.


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